There have been moments in my life when comparison has almost crippled me. I have felt physically ill over it, not wanting to leave the house, and it has blinded me of all the amazing blessings I have in my life. The struggle is real, so know that you are not alone. I have grown so tired of it though, and I am slowly overcoming comparison’s trap even though some days are SO much harder than others. I am learning to believe that I AM enough and worthy to be loved just as I am.
It’s been quite a journey and one I am still in the midst of, but I have become so fed up with comparison (especially among women – wow, we are really the hardest on each other) and how it robs us so quickly of joy and of being who we really are. Life is just too short to constantly be hiding behind mask after mask so that we can feel like we “fit in” or will be accepted. How freeing it would be if we as women could just call it for what it is (the big comparison elephant in the room) and just LET. IT. GO. Just be who we are, stop trying to impress each other so much and just love each other for our individual gifts that we offer to this world and each other.
I guess that means we really also need to let go of perfection or this standard we have somehow set ridiculously high. This is a tough one for me…I’m quite the Type A personality in almost every aspect of my life. It can be both a blessing and a curse some days. But back to perfection…doesn’t it sometimes feel like we are all striving so hard to prove that we’ve “got it all together,” “figured it out” and have found “the best way”? We say with our mouths this isn’t true, but come on, all you have to do is jump on Instagram and images of perfection are splashed before our eyes. Because who posts the imperfect pictures – the ones of their kids fighting, the piles of laundry, the lesson plans that flopped or of themselves losing it over being late? I’m not at all trying to bash Instagram, it has brought so much beauty and encouragement into my life, I just hate that it can sometimes be one of the many avenues the enemy uses to twist beauty to make us feel so much less than – not enough. You all know that voice – the one that rarely builds you up during the day. The one that can some days consume you to the point that you feel crippled and don’t want to leave the house. It’s mean, and we so often entertain it. It is a joy thief and we need to shut it up!
Clearly, I’m a bit passionate about this subject, and my prayer is that more and more women will become more passionate about it as well. I’m so tired of having joy and life robbed from me because of that voice that only hangs around to condemn. I long to live in freedom from comparison and insecurities, and my hearts cry is to see other women living in this freedom as well. I really believe one of the first steps on this freedom journey starts with truly learning how to love ourselves and believe that we are worthy to be loved. Then we will have the grace to love and accept each other as who we are without this unspoken comparison that is constantly trying to tear us down.
So what has my journey looked like so far in this area? (I’m writing this down not only with a heart that cries out for your freedom friend, but also as a reminder for myself so that I can continue to experience more freedom and joy as well).
- I look for the beauty and gifts that are right in front of me and try to keep my focus there when the temptation to compare comes sneaking in.
- When I am struggling with comparing myself to someone else, feeling left out, or honestly when someone else’s insecurities are just flaunting something in my face (this is such an ugly reality of this struggle) and my insecurities rage wild…I fight my initial reaction to want to start tearing her down in my mind so I will feel better, and I start to pray for her. I pray that God would bless her, that He would heal any areas in her heart where she feels insecure and not enough, I ask Him to fill her with abundant freedom and joy, and I choose to love even when it feels impossible because of the weight of my own insecurities trying to convince me that I’m not enough.
- I start speaking the truth about myself – that I am enough, I am loved, and that I have something beautiful to offer. I know from experience that it’s really hard to believe these truths, especially in the thick of struggling with comparison and insecurities, but I am building a new habit in my thoughts and building new habits can take time. It’s baby steps sometimes, but those baby steps get you one step closer to more freedom and joy friends!
- And because I am a believer in Jesus, I also dive into my bible and soak in scripture that speaks the truth about who I am. Some of my go-to verses are: 1 John 3:1, 1 John 4:18, John 15:11, 1 Peter 1:8, Psalm 126:3, Psalm 28:7, Zephaniah 3:17, Nehemiah 8:10.
That’s where I am at right now…this is me – open, honest and raw. I feel like I just sprawled my heart out across this screen, with the deep longing to experience true freedom in this area. And my longing to replace that “less than, not good enough” lie with the truth that I AM enough. YOU are enough. Period. Bring on the joy!